Excuses

File Apr 04, 4 16 37 PM*(I didn’t say no)

Because
I was so, so hungry
and it was such a good drug for the pain
of carrying you on my sleeve;
because it was too good to be real,
too old to be new, a familiar habit-
Because I saw it coming and it was still a surprise,

because it was too good to be bad,
too comforting to be sad until it was over-
But “over” is for tomorrow,
and at midnight, tomorrow
will never come

Worse still
is the oldest excuse (as familiar
as your face, though far less pleasant)
that clamors to be heard coming
out of the grave
(my hands still sore from digging)
the horrible idea, the terror that
I- sane as I am, old wise and dead-
I- somehow, a fool who rushed in-
I- cliche, stubborn girl-
I- inevitably-
love you.

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