Things I Have Done

img_1749I covered my eyes to see you better,
covered my mouth to
keep a peace-
unrolled understanding like
a carpet on your stones,
kissing corners just to bring in
a little light

I risked my shame for greatness,
hoping you would do the same-
I wrote you in songs, and stories and poems to keep
your sacred silence in tact

I wrote this sorry list of faults
In the quiet of dawn, instead
of nailing it to your door
like the bloodhound I was meant to be

I believed in you what you didn’t
believe in yourself,
flattened like a shield against
those who know you best

I cried when I should have cursed,
sacrificed my dignity on an altar of hope
because I loved

I made myself into
weakness and pain, embarrassed silence,
skinning my knees on the
rigor of your walls

I don’t want to afford you the grace
of anger;
instead, I hope you love-
deeply, greatly, with abandon,
because then I will know
you can still feel pain

The worst I can say, is that you were right-
and letting you go
is not losing
very much

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